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Batman is everyman’s hero. He wasn’t born with any superpowers; he doesn’t have any special abilities. He just uses what he was born with, getting by on his detective skills, brute strength, and martial arts knowledge. But wait, wait there’s more…

Fortunately, he was also born with a massive monetary inheritance that afforded him a bat-mobile, new decorations for the bat-cave, and (perhaps most importantly) his utility belt. You may protest: “But now he is just relying on gadgets to get by. He’s no longer just a dude on the street fighting to avenge his parent’s death.” A counter-argument: his gadgets in different hands would be far less effective, which makes him even cooler. He is able to use a flippin’ batarang. Could you do that? Probably not. Not unless you are Batman. And you can’t be Batman, because Batman is a fictional character. Cue mind explosion.

But what I really want to know is “What’s in Batman’s utility belt?” There is speculation, of course, and even legitimate comics that tell us what’s in Batman’s belt. See below.

Whoswho_ubelt

 

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But this isn’t real. It can’t be. It’s like when the government says, “Oh, no. We aren’t listening to your phone conversations. Hehehehe.” The ominous laughter really gives them away. Anyways, what’s really in Batman’s utility belt? Easy. Just think about it. Batman is a busy guy. He is always on the go, so he probably doesn’t have time to stop in the middle of crushing villains to have a bite to eat. The answer is simple: sandwiches. In every pocket of Batman’s belt is a sandwich. OR maybe, just maybe, every compartment holds an element of the sandwich, so that the bread doesn’t get soggy, and everyone knows that soggy bread makes for the worst kind of sandwich.

What do you think Batman’s really hiding in his utility belt?

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